1. Watch others who are moving forward. Patrick, my next door neighbor, is painting his roof. A couple of days ago, all of his sons and all of the son's friends were up on the roof. Having a job that is hard, dangerous, and difficult seems to act like a magnet.
2. Rent a 14 inch chainsaw, and trim the small trees and foilage out of the backyard. The net result set the course of the next four days. Say nothing but 'Thanks!' to the sweat, branch entwinement, and resultant weak back. Distraction is not valued as it should be. Is working for me. And true to supposition, did act like a magnet.
3. Feel the feelings. Better to feel the feelings when walking, cleaning, and organizing. Doing this in the garage caused more feelings, as the garage has hosted any number of non-paying renters, of the four legged variety, for six months. Do not feel the feelings when reading, or trying to go to sleep at night. Shutting feelings down is okay.
4. Lower expectations. Feeling better is not going to happen for awhile.
5. Eat at the regular times, even though now, there are no regular times for anything. As well as no appetite.
6. Enjoy the ultimate privacy given by unplugging the phone. A little control is appreciated in the aftermath of no control.
7. Go where the dogs want to go, as they are always connected to God.
8. Take hope and faith that emptiness is space for lessons, revitalization, and change.
9. Do not fear change. If fear is present, rent chainsaw.
10. No one knows how to handle loss well. So spend a lot of time cutting a break for all. Most everyone is in some sort of grief process, and most of this is unknown to me. Tenderness and compassion is a good general rule. Especially while driving, and when in the grocery store.
This Is What I Look Like
And This Is What I Look Like When Writing
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