Buddha

"Approach the light that you carry within you, and you will need no shelter."

Buddha

I think the operative word here is "approach."

Last week, I put down the quest as a result of my disappointment, confusion, and net assessment of my failures. I did art. I planted seeds in my flats. Flowers for the front yard. After all, it is supposedly March. I cut 45 degree angles for a complex piece of molding. I went back to the side porch with the trowel and joint compound. I read. I watched T.V. And I walked in the worst weather we have had in six years. I would like to interpret this quote strictly in terms of the weather, and give my soul a break.

I wrote the last entry because my game book is obviously not God's game book. And that leads the most stupid of all people back to prayer and faith.

I am sitting here at the computer looking out of two windows. The wind is fierce, and making the snow swirl. Two people have just passed, walking their dogs. They are doing what I will be doing. Dressing and going out with my dogs. This is 'put one foot in front of the other,' approach to life when life is painful.

On top of my homework, I am dealing with two of my siblings. I thought I had the game book but have given that up, the day we lost our electric power, and I went to bed for twelve hours. This is why I am mad at God, and sick of trying to ascertain the path. I am sick of one of my brothers, and sick of one of my sisters. I am sick of them both.

In my ethics class, we are reading the statements of those who have influenced the development of ethical decision making, and ethical behavior. I was very surprised to find this quote, which is a framing quote for Catholic health care directives:

"We are not the owners of our lives."

My favorite line to all of life right now is, 'well, okay.'

So besides coming up with prayer and faith, I am speaking my favorite line:

"Well, okay."